Welcome Back to Hasselhoff Fridays-- where The Hoff breaks up catfights and still manages to look ridiculously good-looking...


http://www.davidhasselhoffonline.com/BaywatchNightsPressPhoto3.jpg

AND NOW some links for you to enjoy...

I bet you didn't know this existed...Officially proves that there are conventions for everything. Of course it's in Ohio. Stupid Ohio.
http://knightregistries.com/Nats06/

Click here to go to Hoff's official page...Turn your speakers up, folks, he greets you personally!
http://www.davidhasselhoff.com/splash.html

AND FINALLY, if someone doesn't buy me this t-shirt for my Birthday, I will cry...although it is 40 bucks and that is totally ridiculous...
http://www.stage5.com.au/shop_dh.php?what_category=6

Ah, the New York City subway system: Providing blogger fodder for dorks like me since, I dunno, whenever blogs were invented...

Anyway, TWO subway events of note occurred today.

First off, I was riding the F train to work this morning and was lucky enough to grab a seat at Jay Street next to a woman who was reading some sort of packet and making notations in it. Not gonna lie, I always take a peak at whatever the person next to me is reading-- I don't think it's unreasonable. I'm curious/Nosy and, let's be honest, you all do it too. However, there has got to be some sort of limit on what you can and cannot read on the subway. I looked at this document the woman was holding and it was titled "permanency Hearing Report." Now, in case you don't know, a permanency hearing is basically when a judge hears the case as to what should happen to a kid who has been placed in Child Protective Services. I don't know about you, but if I was a kid who had been taken away from my parents and sent to a foster home, I don't think I'd be too keen on the idea of someone evaluating my future in blue ballpoint pen at 9:15 AM on a crowded subway. I'd like to think this was some sort of very difficult and PRIVATE decision. Maybe it's just me. I'll stick to reading the Gossip Girl series. If people want to take a look-see over my shoulder, I think it's okay if they find out that Serena slept with Nate...but I won't be taking a look at the results of my pap smear on the subway any time soon.

Second, Jenn found this on the subway bench when we got on to go to Meredith's tonight:



Are you a promiscuous female (or interested in maybe being promiscuous for a little while)? If so, there's a promiscuous male out there looking for you! Thank God. Apparently, depending on your race, you may be more or less interested in this proposition...



Two Things:
1) This appeared to be some sort of photocopied flier...has anyone else found one of these on the subway?
2) Is this some researcher's clever way to hunt down promiscuous women? A practical joke someone is playing on his friend? A serious hunt for some booty? I haven't called the number, but maybe tomorrow I will call from work and see who answers...if you call the number, let me know what happens!!!

PS- Only in New York City would they have Out Traveler: The Standard of Gay Travel as one of the waiting room magazines. Love it.

God, I feel like I live at the doctor's office lately...

I guess this is what happens when you don't go to the doctor for 7 years...when you finally DO go to a doctor, they tell you that you need to go to 14 other doctors that you also haven't gone to in 7 years...and when there's even something stupid and little wrong, they refer you to 17 other doctors, who refer you to 19 more...and before you know it, you have taken 26 straight days off from work for doctor's appointments...AND you think, "Oh, well, it's okay cause I have health insurance now." But, NO, you come to find out that your insurance only pays for part of these visits, and that 10 minute visit to the orthopedic doctor actually cost you 75 bucks. 75 bucks?! AND that physical therapist he sent you to is costing you 20 bucks a visit, you paid 10 bucks for your prescription co-pay, and 12 bucks for the knee brace....YEESH.

The other thing I've realized with this whole medical care experience is that had I been going to the doctor for the past seven years, I probably would be 100 times more comfortable with my own nudity and/or general physical contact. I never really thought about the about of general groping you get at the doctor and I definitely didn't know I would have to get fully necked for my physical. Thank God I have a female doctor. I know this sounds really dumb, but this is Sam we are talking about. My boobs haven't been seen by all that many people (I'm not even just talking about boys- people in general). Another thing I'm working on... But anyway, not only did my doctor poke and prod my naked body, but then her 2 medical assistants came in and attached EKG stickers all over my boobies...my poor freezing cold boobies...Hell, at this point, I'm ready to strip down and wander aimlessly through the streets of New York.

Damn. Katherine McPhee is good...sorry, watching American Idol.

Then I had my second appointment of the day at the podiatrist. Now this guy was reasonable. Not only did he only ask me to remove my shoes and socks, but he also told me he would call and make sure my insurance covered the orthotics before he ordered them because they were very expensive. Now this is my kind of guy!

Morningwood's "The Nth Degree" is in like every other commercial. Sorry, still multitasking...

Which brings me to the following question: Why the hell would anyone (especially a clearly-nice guy like this one) choose to be a podiatrist of all things? Feet are pretty much the nastiest things on the planet. AND if someone's coming to a podiatrist, that means they have something WRONG with their feet...which probably makes them even nastier. Seriously, the brochures on the wall of the waiting room included: Hammer Toes, Funghal Problems, Nail Problems, Corns and Calluses, Warts, and bunions. Nast.

Wow, it's amazing that even after being out of the Page Program for over a year, I still flashback to Mini Control every time I hear the theme to Scrubs...sorry, TV's still on...this post is another long rambling one. Guess I'll stop and just watch the damn television. OH, watch Teachers tonight if you get a chance on NBC. I'm fairly certain it's not actually going to be good, but Justin Bartha (the star of the show) went to my high school. he was a senior when I was a freshman and he was the star in the school musical. I was in the chorus and the special "dance chorus." It was Sondheim's "Merrily We Roll Along" and he was fabulous-- and dreamy. Damn.

My Non-New Year's Resolution:

When I run into people I know, I will no longer pretend that I do not see them.

I have a bit of a problem like that. Seriously, is it normal that my gut reaction when I see someone I recognize is to quickly bolt in the opposite direction, or, if I am trapped on the same subway car as someone, to either stare up at the subway ads as if they're the most intriguing things I've ever laid eyes upon or I pull out a book and literally buy my face in the pages...?

Ugh.

It's not even like these are people that I have beef with in some way, sometimes it even happens with people I consider friends...it's just this freakish instinct inside me that panics. Of course, the problem is then sitting there panicking even more in worry over whether they saw me see them and now know I am blatantly ignoring them...

My friends used to make fun of me in college because I would even do this with guys that I had a crush on. I would literally see the boy coming my way and start staring off in some direction- any direction as long as it wasn't his direction- until I was certain he had passed. My friends would be like, "Uh, I don't think he knows you like him. In fact, the boy thinks you HATE him. You ignore him every time you see him...not really the best way to communicate your attraction..."

The thing is, I am just hugely awkward with small talk, or at least I perceive that I am...and therefore am afraid to face it. I'd rather save myself the embarrassment.

The problem occurs when someone actually calls you out on your asshole behavior.

For instance, on Saturday as I was getting on the F Train to go meet the old Page girls for brunch and I saw this guy who used to work in my office. Before I knew it, I had quickly looked away, and fixed my gaze straight ahead at the opposite subway door. I was absolutely certain that he had seen me see him, but I had made my choice and so I stood there feeling his eyes blaze through me...until a minute or two later when he finally said, "SAM!" and I had to turn around with a big fake-surprised grin and pretend I had only just now seen him on the train. AWKWARD! Even more sad was that I then had a very lovely ride with him and his friend. We even got off at the same stop and walked to Union Square together...Now why couldn't I have said hello in the first place?? Actually, this guy was the guy that my coworker had really wanted to fix me up with for months and months when he worked with us-- I should have jumped at the opportunity to finally bond with him...although he was with what seemed to be a girlfriend even though he introduced her as "my friend"-- oh God, now I'm just rambling...

Anywho, you get my drift. I will at least attempt to from now on not be a total social spazz.

I'm totally exhausted right now because I had a very busy weekend...here's the ole recap in case you actually care for some reason...

FRIDAY night I went to happy hour at the Brooklyn Brewery with some of the ole Kitchen Sink soccer gang- we have our first game of the new season this coming Friday and needed some bonding time...and pizza and beer...Actually, speaking of running into people, I ran into this old improv classmate of mine there. I didn't ignore her because she actually had come up to ask us to borrow a chair...and she remembered my name and I didn't remember hers, but I didn't admit that...





Then I went to the Upper East Side, a land I rarely venture to, stopped by Stacy's apartment for a beer and basketball party for a while and then went to a bar to celebrate Janelle's Birthday. For some crazy reason I was still there pushing 4am...well, no, I guess it wasn't a crazy reason. I was having a lot of fun with people I rarely see. The CD player for the bar kept skipping, so the Irish bartender had to change the songs manually-- At the end of each song he would make a mad dash from behind the bar to the DJ booth with a look of sheer excitement on his face, yelling "You guys are gonna LOVE this one!!!"-- and we usually did! He was all about old Beatles tunes, and, to be quite honest, I can't even remember what else, but I remember singing along at the top of my lungs and dancing my ass off...Anyway, stupid me decided to go all the way back to Brooklyn on the subway and when I got off the subway I realized my keys had been lost somewhere along the way...so I had to wake up Andy at 5am to let me in. He was definitely not stoked about that one. Janelle, sorry about posting drunken pictures of you, but I think they are adorable. You were so happy!





SATURDAY I went to a free screening of Ice Age 2 with Meredith. Shut up. It was free. I never even saw the first one, but I must say, watching a kids movie in a theatre filled with kids is hilarious. I think that was actually more entertaining than the movie. I liked all the kid's reactions to things...they were funny. This is the point where I'm supposed to give you a specific example, but, unfortunately, i can't think of a single one at the moment...damn. Meredith and I were both starving and got the value pack. I have never seen such a large tub of popcorn. America is beautiful. The weird woman behind us decided it would be fun to quiz us on how much they marked up the price of popcorn. I felt like maybe I should give her a quiz of my own called "Why Are You An Adult Women at a Screening of Ice Age 2 By Yourself" but I held my tongue.

SATURDAY NIGHT I went to see the Arctic Monkeys at Webster Hall. I had a great time- it was one of those fun shows where you sing along to every word of every song and dance your ass off. I brought Stephanie along with my extra ticket, but I later found out people were buying tickets for like 200 bucks outside. Damn. I'm glad Stephy came, but man that is a lot of money. Can't say I know anyone I would actually pay 200 bucks to see...Elvis if he came back from the dead. Dolly Parton playing my roof...hmmm...Then I stayed out till 4am at a bar on the LES for some ungodly reason. The problem is that I get wired after 1am and if anyone else is into it, I stay till closing time...argh.



SUNDAY, after the already-mentioned subway incident, I met with the TV Night gals for brunch and then shopping around Union Square. Then Katie came and met me at an Irish pub to watch the George Mason bball game-- SUCH a good game! The Irish bartender clearly did NOT know how basketball works. When there were 17 seconds left in the game, he asked us "How long is a time out?" "30 seconds," we replied. "So why don't they just take a time out and run the clock out?" Hmmm.

What happened next is one of the reasons I like myself and my friends so much. Katie asked me to do her hair. There we were in an Irish pub, watching basketball intently and doing each other's hair into fancy updos. Classic.

Believe it or not, I still had one more stop- Kitchen Sink Music at Galapagos. It was actually a great show, but I literally was falling asleep at my table...By the time I got home last night I really felt like I might just keel over in the street. Thankfully, I didn't.

Whew!

Okay time to finish watching my favorite Monday night TV...Beautiful People- yee haw!!!

Okay, so my physical therapist is ridiculously good looking.

This would be great for anyone else, but for Sam it just means lots of nervousness, blushing, awkward jokes, and general embarrassment. The worst/best part is that "physical therapy" (at least this week) really just involves an hour-long leg massage...I think I must have been bright red the whole time...BUT I COULD get used to having a beautiful guy massaging my leg all the time...ACK!

He's not even my typical type. He's totally some ex-jock who wears Dockers and a button down shirt, but he breaks all type boundaries by being universally handsome. Oh dear. I have to go back on Friday...

OH, and I also didn't think to bring gym shorts to change into, so I was wearing my work pants, which aren't exactly loose in the butt/thigh area...and so when he was stretching my legs up on his shoulder (yes, this DEFINITELY made me blush!) all I was thinking was, "Dear God, please don't let me have camel toe. PLEASE don't look down right now..."

Maybe he has a flat feet fetish...

Note to self: Shave your legs before Friday!

I have flat feet.

I guess I already kind of always new this, but today a doctor actually officially told me this as a diagnosis. I never really thought it was an issue, but I went to the orthopedist thinking he was going to tell me that my knee has been killing me because I tore a ligament in what must have been a nasty soccer battle...but, oh no, he simply says, "You do know you have flat feet don't you?" Who knew flat feet could cause such problems? The thing is, I ran track and cross country for years growing up. In fact, there were YEARS in elementary school that I was well known as the fastest girl in my class...and that was WITH flat feet. Imagine if I weren't at a genetic disadvantage...I could be a gold medal winner right now. Instead, I'm sitting here nursing my left knee and cursing my ugly, especially stinky, gigantic flat feet. Bitches. Now I have to go see a podiatrist- who will, without a doubt, tell me that I have to wear some nasty brown orthopedic shoes for the rest of my life (what, am I 90?), I have to go to physical therapy twice a week for a month, and I have to wear a stupid knee brace. Bitches. my sister has perfect arches, perfect teeny little feet that fit her body, perfect little toe nails, the perfect foot scent...what the hell? Why did she hit the genetic lottery on feet? Can only one sister have perfect feet at a time? Well, at least I've got my ghetto booty. She's got no butt. I got all the junk in the trunk for the sisterhood. That's all I got. What more can i say?

AND here are the rest of the pictures...





















AND some pics from Jenny Lewis...Happy Birthday, Janelle!!!

Alright, first off, I got DVR on Thursday...so I've spent all extra moments this weekend with my ass planted firmly on the couch watching the roughly hundred episodes of shows I already have collected...Mostly episodes of Instant Star, South of Nowhere and Degrassi from The N, and my new favorite, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia from FX. They had a marathon Saturday night, so I have pretty much the entire series on DVR...which is what I have been doing today...watching the entire series...if you haven't seen it, you should definitely check it out-- such a great show. Brilliant.

But anyway...

Friday was St. Patty's Day- which I actually don't normally celebrate in any sort of way, but this year the old ex-page girls + katie and steph decided to have a little girls' night fun. We made ghetto fabulous t-shirts at meredith and christies, ate some Jello shots...well, actually just jello mold shots...Then we went to a cheesy bar on 46th Street where we got hit on by a lot of horrible, disgusting, pushy, drunk dudes...I kind of yelled at a few of them...but they deserved it.

Last night I saw Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins at Irving Plaza. God I love that woman. I'm straight, but I totally have a girl crush on her. We went to dinner at Zen Palate before the show, and she and the band were totally eating at the table across from us. It was a really great show. That girl's got some lungs.

Here are some of the pictures:

I saw this woman on the subway this morning who was painting concealer all over her face with that spongy wand thingy. I mean ALL over her face. She would pause every now and then and rub it in, but then immediately start dabbing it everywhere again- all over her chin and her neck and her forehead and her cheeks. It was also about 7 shades lighter than her natural skin tone, so it gave her an eerie white glow like a creepy villain in a superhero movie.

I couldn't stop staring.

FC Kitchen Sink is officially out of contention for the NY Coed Soccer Championship. We lost on Friday night in the first round of playoffs...ah well. Now we have three weeks to practice and prepare to dominate the Spring league. We will sadly be losing Kareem and Kate, but we will be picking up Chip, Steph and Katie.

We took an official team picture a la 11th Grade, and here it is!



After soccer, I went to Tiffany's for my first grilling of the season- yay! Huy made me two delicious hamburgers and it made me really excited to start cooking on our roof again.

Yesterday was a PERFECT BEAUTIFUL day, so after brunch (my third hamburger in a day!) I went to Central Park. I came across this photo shoot for an American Eagle ad:



No really, those are actually my friends looking picture perfect.

After soaking up the sun until it started to go down, and ogling those crazy off-roading strollers (seriously people- where are you planning on taking your babies?), it was off to The Heights for some Happy Hour. I love that Steph and I have been going there for almost 7 years now. It's good to have a spot where everyone knows you...and that has awesome nachos, wings and $3 pint glass margaritas...

We had to go back to Erica and Lynn's hood, but I insisted on a stop at Rite Aid to buy deodorant (I was all out), Advil (somehow I've developed Bursitis in my knee), and UNO! After watching I Love Toys on VH1 with Andy last weekend, I had to buy it. Seriously, the game manufacturers of America should be seriously stoked that this show is on the air, and I seriously believe sales of toys featured on the show much be skyrocketing...Anyway, we all went to Valhalah (spelling?) in midtown west and drank beer, played some seriously competitive UNO, and eventually ate some amazing empanadas. Unfortunately, the camera battery died and I don't have any pics from the night, but here's a picture of UNO, Jesse McCartney really digs it.



It was a good day.

And now a shameless plug to make me a good employee...

http://www.the-n.com/ntv/shows/ogrady/video/

This link is your friend.

Why?

Maybe because it will take you straight to ENTIRE EPISODES of the kick-ass animated series O’GRADY, that you can WATCH ONLINE, RIGHT NOW or whenever you want, FOR FREE.

New half-hour episodes added every Friday night in March & April – with Hi-larious guest stars like Conan O’Brien, Amy Poehler, Rob Corddry, Rachel Dratch, Todd Barry, Will Arnett and David Cross.

Why not go there right now? Watch a funny free TV show on your computer! It’s fun!

~please pass this link along to yr peeps, and spread the word about O’Grady!~

This is pretty much the most awesome business card I have ever seen.



Gandalf? Available for quests? This man is clearly a bigshot in the fantasy role play world. Please don't call him and leave taunting messages on his voicemail...Now, if you need him to help you destroying powerful rings, then by all means...

AND Katie apparently gets a lot of business cards from strange men...

PS- Y'all better be watching the premiere of a new episode of Beautiful People on ABC Family tonight. It's pretty much the best show ever. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but I do love it a lot...

In case you just can't get enough pictures of Hooters...(and really, who can't?)

Tiff has a bunch of craziness on her Flickr site

Yeah, so, about Hooters...

Thursday night was Tiffany's Birthday, but it was also my first class of Level 401 UCB Improv. I got out of class at 10pm and I had a text message from Tiffany that read: "I'm at Hooters!" obviously, I immediately decided I had to go meet her. When else do I have the excuse to go to Hooters? I think I had a perma-grin the entire way there-- just thinking about the fact that I was going to Hooters made me smile. When I got there, I felt a little weird at first, cause I was a girl walking into Hooters by myself, but I found Tiffany and the gang and was able to relax. They were already drunk, so they quickly fed me beer, sangria and "special water" to catch me up a bit...god, this blog sure does make me sound like an alcoholic...all my stories seem to involve me getting drunk...

ANYWHO, It was lots of fun. There was a weird dude next to us, but our Hooter girl Dee assured us that he was harmless. Tiffany and I bonded with Dee a bit and she told us they get a lot of "special" people in Hooters. A lot of mentally disabled men apparently come in there all the time-- which I guess makes sense as it's a place where gorgeous friendly girls are paid to talk to you...kind of sad though. After Hooters we headed down to the Lower East Side to a bar on Essex where we drank more beer, ate a lot of peanuts and played pool-- with Carlos from Interpol! YES, Carlos is the one with herpes. All I could think the whole time was, "wow, you have internet sites devoted to the fact that you have herpes..." He was actually pretty nice, but a little weird. He was dressed in a black suit, black shirt and black tie-- he looked like he walked right off an album cover. There were two groupies with him wearing "dresses" that barely covered their female bits and I wondered, "Are they aware they are about to get the Herp?" unfortunately, they were actually pretty damn good at pool. Carlos made Huy beat him once before he would play doubles (kind of a dick move, but whatever) and he did, but then we lost in a tight game against him and skank number one. Oh well, when it comes down to it, Huy and I were the real winners, cause we weren't going home with Herpes.
















AND here are two random pictures from Katie's Birthday dinner at Carmine's a month ago...

The Birthday Girl



Stacy and Stephy