Thanks to Meredith, here are some more pictures from Joe's Birthday party (two weeks ago...):



Katie was so peaceful amongst the Tecate cans...



So was Chip. Little did he know I was about to poke him with my evil black finger nail...



I just wanted to lick the cans with my freakishly long tongue.



And THEN! An America's Next Top Model photo shoot broke out. Below please find the outcome, as well as my attempts to remember what the direction for each shot was...

Cleavage shots:





Chip just walked in on his parents doing it:



Steph, Meredith and I just found out we've been sleeping with the same guy:

Take One



Take Two



Katie and Chip have been sleeping together and just found out that they're brother and sister:



Meredith thinks she and Chip just lost their virginity to each other...but Chip secretly has had sex before...

Take One



Take Two



Meredith just found out that Googly is a stuffed animal and not real:



Katie is a hockey player who secretly dreams of being a professional figure skater...



Chip is a meth addict:



I have an evil plan that just might work...



Steph and I are two girls who just got caught drinking at prom and aren't going to graduate...

Take One



Take Two

RIP Bo.


Michigan will officially kick Ohio State ass tomorrow.

Food-related tip of the day:

Put chocolate soy milk in your morning cup-o-Joe. It's delicious, relatively healthy, and is sweet enough that you don't have to add additional sugar.

Yum.

On a more serious note...About comedy:

I've read a lot of interesting articles/blog entries lately about comedy, women, writing, and any combination of those three things (all of which interest me).

This is a New York Times profile about a great underappreciated actress. Reading about her reminds me of why I love Kaitlin Olson from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: She's a pretty girl who's totally committed and will do anything to help the comedy of a scene- even if it means making a fool of herself. Can we see more of this, TV & Movie execs???

AND another Times Magazine feature from this weekend reminds me that comedy is SO hot right now. If only I could actually capitalize on this somehow...

My mom says I'm special.



I must say, this was a refreshing weekend. For once, I didn't have fourteen thousand plans before the weekend started, just the usual extracurriculars. FC Kitchen Sink won Friday night, WHICH means we will be playing in the CHAMPIONSHIP game! Not too shabby seeing as though a year ago half of us had never played soccer before. Darryl and the Strawberries (softball) weren't so lucky...we came in last in our league. Ah well, we had fun.

I feel like lately I've been dictating plans and making the Columbia gals trek out to Brooklyn a lot, SO, Saturday night I went on up to Stacy and Steph's hood for some Dino BBQ, YUM!, and a 'lil poker tournament. We had to sit outside (or else wait three hours for a table) so we wore Gabe's helmets for warmth. That and they just made us look so darn awesome.

I've been doing some weird things with my face lately. Maybe I'll become the next Jim Carrey...No? Fine then.

I got completely drenched coming home from softball in the rain today, so I made some chili and now I have lunch for the rest of the week. Leftovers happen to be one of my favorite things.

EMILY AND SAM'S TENNESSEE TACK TOUR- DAY 6- TUESDAY, AUGUST 8- NASHVILLE

Lauren reminded me that I wasn't even halfway done reporting back on the road trip I took this summer...my bad.

Day 6 found Emily & I on our last day in Nashville (sadly). It just didn't seem to be our day at first, because a gallery we wanted to visit was closed and so was Rotier's (which was supposed to be an amazing classic Nashville restaurant). But, it was a beautiful day, so we still enjoyed plenty of the city.

This was the beautiful Tennessee Capital Building (on top of a very large hill):



I loved the ironwork inside in this library:



Then we went to the Pathenon. Yes, the Parthenon. Bet you didn't know that Nashville has a full scale replica of the Parthenon. Weird, but true.





Crepe Myrtle is all over Tennessee and the other states we visited- I just love it!



So Rotier's was closed and we were starving. I looked in my guidebook for another restaurant, we picked one... and proceeded to drive around Nashville for an hour trying to find it- with no success. At that point our stomachs were eating themselves from the inside, so we settled for Spicy Chicken. Another healthy food choice.





After lunch we dropped by Hatch Show Print, an amazing poster shop. They have been making posters since 1879 and still do all the prints the old fashioned way. Such a cool place. I bought a really neat Loretta Lynn poster.



We had some more time to kill before going to the Grand Ole Opry, so we kicked it at the farmer's market and checked out the Bicentennial Memorial.





Then we had some crappy food at Dave & Buster's and hit up the Grand Ole Opry! It was a ton of fun, although the average age in attendance was approximately 102. The performers we saw were: Jim Ed Brown, Alecia Nugent, Jeannie Seely (crazy alcoholic lady), Jeff Bates, Mel McDaniel- who, was singing some sort of WOOHOO, AMERICA song when this picture was taken...



...Trick Pony, Little Jimmy Dickens- the dirty but hilarious little bugger you see here:



AND last but not least, Joe Nichols- the man who brought you "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off"- which I, sadly, actually knew...my sister and I discovered it on one long trip from Detroit to New York with severe radio desperation.

Then we headed to The Station Inn- the home of Nashville bluegrass- and the surprise guest was none other than Alecia Nugent, who we had just seen perform at the Opry.



Oh, Nashville, how I love thee, let me count the ways...

Another fun-filled (and totally exhausting) weekend!

Friday night was another winning game for FC Kitchen Sink followed by girl's night.

Got up "early" Saturday and went to a record fair where I: a) was one of maybe ten girls there and b) bought a bunch of country music-- including Elvis' Tribute to Canada. No, I didn't know that existed, either.

THEN, we lost a softball game (as usual), but I got a hit every at bat. THEN, I went to hang with some ex-Pages cause Sonny was in town. THEN I went to dinner with Christie, Greg, Randy and Josh, who I never see.

THEN, I went to Heathers for Joe's Birthday. Heathers is a great bar on 13th Street between Avenue A & Avenue B. Karley had a Birthday gathering there a few weeks ago, but I couldn't make it.

Meredith was really good about taking pictures- a little too good. I think she took approximately 149 pictures so I will just post a sampler...



In tribute to our days visiting Emily in Austin, plenty of Tecate was consumed.



Heathers is owned by artists. This is our artistic take on THEIR artistic take on a bear with a vagina (hard to see in the pictures, but it's there).





I don't know how I made my face do this...



Roommates that play together stay together- but why is my head twice the size of Julia's???



This was the last of the "normal" pictures...



After that, we started an ANTM photo shoot that spiraled out of control...maybe Mer will send me those at some point too.

SUNDAY I woke up craving hot apple cider and went to a couple grocery stores before bringing home the prize. THEN I went to see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D with Meredith, Chip and Julia. THEN I met up with Tiffany, who was in town just for the day. THEN I went to eat beans and drink scotch with Pat, Chip, and Joe.

WHEW.

Needless to say, I accidentally overslept yesterday. Woopsy.

THIS is what Gmail thinks I might be interested in purchasing from the contents of my emails today...

I'm ashamed. Sort of.

I'm pooped today due to Halloween 2006.



Recognize the costume? Yeah, I morphed my Birthday outfit into a "Vampire Prom Queen" costume. I changed Erica into a 70s tennis pro. I've always been the go-to girl for last minute costume creation since my closet is full of costume-y clothes that I actually wear on a daily basis. Erica's shorts actually used to be my dad's...damn, my dad used to wear some short shorts. Heather was Tinkerbell.



Andy was his alter-ego Randy.



And Julia was a pretty butterfly. I helped her make the wings.



We went out in the hood to B61 and then to Moonshine. I was kind of disappointed by the serious lack of costume-wearing. I kind of believe if you are gonna go out on Halloween you should be required to wear some sort of costume, even if it's just a funny hat. We saw a guy wearing normal clothes with ski poles and goggles on, and that was totally fine by me. At least he tried. Are people that self conscious that they afraid of looking dumb in a costume? No one is too cool for a costume. Nobody.

From the Mailbag...

Hoff, this is why you shouldn't wear iridescent synthetic fabrics.

This is freaking awesome.

This just serves to illustrate my point about dudes and Halloween.

Thanks, Emily and Julia!

ALSO- Laffy Taffy, this is not a joke:

What is Labor Day?
That's when mommies have their babies.
(Amber T. Alameda, CA)

That is something "cute" 5-year-old Amber from Alameda said to her mommy. Amber's mommy got a real chuckle out of it and thought, "Gee, I should send this to those zany folks at Laffy Taffy. My daughter is a comic genius!" At which point the Laffy Taffy people should have sent her a polite but swift rejection letter- NOT printed it on thousands of wrappers.

I love Halloween in NYC because you're never really sure if someone's wearing a costume...

It was home to Michigan for me and my sister this weekend. Instead of going home for Thanksgiving we like to pick a University of Michigan football game to go home for (my mom has had season tickets for as long as I can remember). I was super excited because the Tigers were also playing in the World Series and I thought maybe I'd be home for the last games in Detroit...

Well, those hopes were soon dashed as they choked a biggie Friday night. BUT I did get to see The Hold Steady at Magic Stick Friday night. Yeah, I went from Brooklyn to Detroit to see a band from Brooklyn... Heather and I were curious to see what their fan base was like in Detroit since they sell out every show here. Well, Magic Stick was pretty packed by the time they came on, so I'd say they have a lot of Detroit fans. Apparently no girls like music in Detroit though- my sister and I were 2 of probably 8 girls at the venue. Major sausage fest. Also, there was a group of (maybe) 16 year old boys there that was so wasted but so excited. It really might have been the first time they had ever been drunk, and I must say, it was pretty amusing. One of them literally yelled "Cigarettes and alcohol!!!" before the show (and then they all high fived). The show was really great. I actually don't dig listening to their albums so much, but they put on a heck of a show.

Saturday Michigan took on Northwestern (and won) in the pouring (and freezing) rain. Yahoo. Luckily I brought my sleeping bag coat with me, so I managed to stay relatively cozy. Nothing can compare to seeing a game at the Big House. Nothing. Attendance is over 100,000 every game-- even this one in the nasty weather.

Saturday night was spent at Caribou Coffee & The Village Place...cause that's how geeky my friends are...BIG shout out to Miss Lauren, who is the biggest fan of this blog and one of the major reasons I started it in the first place. She says I will never get a boyfriend if boys I like read this blog...she may be right...shit. Tracee also happened to be in town AND I got the super bonus of seeing Pei Un. It was like a middle school reunion.

Sunday we did some good old fashioned mini-mall shopping and had Buddy's Pizza for dinner. Mmmm Buddy's.

I don't know about you, but I love Laffy Taffy. Not only do you get a delicious piece of candy, but you get two hilarious (ahem) jokes on every wrapper.

How fitting that I got this gem today:




What do you call a cow with a twitch?




(give up???)




BEEF JERKY!!!

Listen up:

Making jokes about how girls dress like sluts on Halloween is played out.

We all saw Mean Girls.

We get it.

If you think that you are the first person to “hilariously” point this fact out…well, you’re an idiot.

Shut your pie hole.

Now then, I would like to point out something everyone seems to be ignoring. Woman may dress like sluts on Halloween, but men dress like absolute morons. There ain’t nothing sexy about men’s Halloween costumes.

Case in point, the Top 10 Bestselling costumes from www.halloweenmart.com. The top women’s costumes range from “Lacy Pirate” to “Vixen Pirate Wench”—but the men’s costumes contain the following gems:

Weighing in at number 5...it’s the “Chick Magnet”



Wow. I don’t know about you, but I’m laughing my ass off. No, not because this costume is so clever, because you are an idiot if you purchased this. If you are wearing this costume, you are most certainly NOT a chick magnet. In fact, you probably haven’t gotten laid since you went to that luau this summer (ba-dump-ching!). note The “Chick Magnet” is sold out for the 2006 season…

Just a few spots down at number 8…it’s the “Heart On”



If you think this costume’s a winner, maybe you should just go ahead and dress like a giant dick, it’s what everyone thinks you are anyway.



And you aren't seeing one of these any time soon...

Sam's Town, Indeed!



Tonight Andy took me to the Killers concert for my Birthday. LA Reed was there (I recognized him from his kid's Super Sweet 16 episode...) and we had better seats! I really love Brandon (lead singer), but he really needs to shave that mustache off.

Fun times.

The Tigers are breaking my heart.

Heather and I watched Game 3 at Angry Wades tonight. The only plus side was free chicken fingers, cheese sticks and shots from a semi-shady dude.

Argh.

Meredith sent me her photos from the Black & White Birthday Party we had a few weeks back...I just had to post this one.



We look like the girls of Delta Gamma or something...I am SO into it.