I never thought one day I’d be visiting a friend in prison, but life has a way of surprising you like that. Sure enough, Saturday morning found me on the Metro North with Stefan headed to the New York State Eastern Correctional Facility to “celebrate” our old roommate’s one-year anniversary in prison.

You should know that the prisoner in question is a good and smart guy- a smart guy who made some decidedly stupid decisions. He was born and raised in the Bronx and ran with a pretty rough crowd. I think he had done some dumb/”bad” things when he was younger, but by the time he was my roommate had really straightened out and was moving in the right direction. Unfortunately, he still had one foot in the old lifestyle, struggled with alcohol dependency, and, the real kicker, had a fondness for guns. None of these things were apparent the majority of the time I lived with him. He was a nice guy, totally respectful, didn’t drink that much and certainly had never mentioned anything about a gun. Toward the end of my/his time in the apartment his parents started having some troubles and he started drinking. This was the first time I saw his “other side.” When he drank he became a totally different person- he would become paranoid and dark- and I admit it was scary. However, that was only a few weeks before he moved out so it didn’t really effect my living situation and, again, 95% of the time he was a great guy.

Anyway, after that, we weren’t in touch very much- we only saw each other a few times a year at parties and I otherwise only heard what was going on with him through Stefan. It was Stefan who told me a year ago about his arrest. He had turned himself in after, drunk, he went to the Sprint store he worked to yell at his ex-girlfriend (who had cheated on him) and ended up shooting the wall with an unregistered gun. He in no way was trying to hurt anyone, he was just trying to be threatening, but he was convicted of illegal possession and received the minimum 3 year sentence. May it be noted that I in no way support a) having weapons in general b) having unregistered weapons c) shooting off guns in public places. However, it’s sad to know that someone you know as generally a great guy is sitting in a prison somewhere.

To get to the prison we had to take the train to Beacon and then drive another 45 minutes northwest. A long haul, but inconvenience is a pretty selfish excuse when your friend is in jail. I must say, I wasn’t mentally prepared at all for the visit. As soon as we got there I realized I hadn’t given much thought to the reality of visiting a friend in prison. It was rough.

The first place we went to was a big fortress-type building where we were told our friend was not located, so we were directed down the road to another facility. This new place was one of the most upsetting parts of the visit. We were certainly the only white people waiting in the freezing cold room, and most of the other people there had babies and/or small children. There was no corrections officer to be found and one only came in every twenty minutes to announce whose turn it was before immediately hiding away again so as to not answer any questions or take down new names. After an hour of waiting, we finally got to the window to find we were, yet again, in the wrong place. Our prisoner was in “The Annex”- but, luckily, that turned out to be a much friendlier place.
The actual visiting area was a large room with tables, vending machines, and board games for kids to play with. There was even a man who would take a Polaroid of a prisoner and their family to commemorate the visit. It was definitely hard to watch the other visitors interact with their imprisoned loved one. It was also bizarre to watch the prisoners go into the “Frisk Room” (labeled as such with a large sign) before leaving and realize what happened in there.

The actual visit with my roommate was good but slightly awkward. He seems to be very busy, teaching a GED class to other prisoners Monday through Friday and attending substance abuse classes at night. He has been lifting a lot of weights, so he’s definitely beefed up, but he says he hasn’t had any fights and has gotten along pretty well because he’s smart and generally keeps to himself. He’s currently in a special program for substance and/or spousal abusers that will last for a year. After that, he can apply for work release and will be up for his first parole hearing in October 2008. At that point hopefully he can get into a halfway house in NYC so he can be at least partially back into a “normal” lifestyle.

Overall, it was an eye-opening experience and I’m glad I went, though I wish I didn’t have a reason to.

Not exactly my usual light/fun blog material, but there you go.