I've decided to apply to be on MTV's Made- "I Want to be a Competitive Eater"

I still have to make a short video, but here's my application:

1) What is your dream/goal? Describe why you want to accomplish this goal. (Have you ever tried to reach this goal before? What steps have you taken to reach this goal in the past, if any?)

I want to become a competitive eater. I want to enter an eating contest and win it (There are eating contests all the time—if I were to be picked, I would enter one that fit the schedule of the show production)

My family has always been astounded by my incredible ability to pack it in (especially since I’m a pretty small girl) and I’d like to use this talent for the good of humanity. I think that people look at me and see a weak little thing and I would like to prove I’m a competitor. All my friends in college played varsity sports and were really athletic and they called me “no sport Sam.” For once, I’d like to be “Cool sport Sam.”

I entered my first (and so far, only) eating competition this year just before Memorial Day. The challenge was to eat a 30 inch hotdog as fast as possible. In my qualifying heat, it was just me and a giant 40 year old man. All I had to do to make it to the finals was finish the hotdog and I couldn’t do it. His children mocked me. I felt so ashamed as everyone in the restaurant watched me get bested by a 30 inch weiner. I will not let this happen again. In my next eating contest I will not only finish, but I will win.

2) Why do you need MTV’s help? What is preventing you from accomplishing this goal on your own?
I need training. I’ve seen Kobayashi—he eats pounds of cabbage and drinks gallons of water in the weeks before a competition. I need someone to provide me with the technique and discipline it takes to be a competitive eater.

3) How would achieving this goal change your life?

I would earn the respect of my peers. I think I could really do well in these competitions, in which case I could win a lot of cash and prizes—which would definitely help my broke ass out. A lot of people follow eating competitions now. I could have fame and glory. Lots of screaming fans. Maybe even find a boyfriend…

4) How long do you think it will take you to reach your goal? How long will you need to train for? I think a solid month would be fine…

5) Describe the type of training you think you’ll need in order to accomplish this goal?

Taking on all-you-can-eat buffets. Staging my own mini challenges. Drinking gallons of water and eating a lot of cabbage to stretch out my stomach. Learning food specific techniques for faster eating.

6) If there are tryouts for this goal, when are they?

There are no tryouts, you just have to sign up in advance for the competitions with the International Federation of Competitive Eating ( www.ifoce.com )