What a weekend! I am totally exhausted.

Let me tell you about brunch yesterday:

DISCLAIMER: For anyone who may, for one reason or another, read this blog entry that doesn't really know me- I am not an alcoholic. I didn't even drink until 2 years ago... Please don't judge my character from this entry.

Jenn's Birthday was last Thursday and we decided to celebrate with brunch at Essex on the LES Sunday. Meredith made reservations for 1pm. We all show up on time and Mr. Green Shirt nerdy host man decides that we are not cool enough, so he does that brilliant smile and look right through you to us for about a half hour. Every now and then he looks at us as if he's just noticed us and says, "Oh, hello, who are you all?" At which point we say, "Meredith, party of five...same as the last six times you have asked us..." At which point he pretends he doesn't remember that we have told him this six times, apologizes profusely and begins ignoring us again. After about an hour of this, he pretends he feels awful (even though he has most definitely given our table to people without reservations that showed up after us) and tells the bartender to give us drinks on him...which he doesn't...We wait for 20 more minutes and finally are seated upstairs.

Now, the reason we came to Essex in the first place is they have a 15 dollar Prix Fix brunch that includes 3 drinks of your choice (bloody marys, screwdrivers, or mimosas). By the time we sit down, we are damn well ready for these drinks and we all quickly down drink number one. Drink number two and another half goes down with our food-- which I must say was damn yummy. As we finish our food, the busboy notices that we are at the bottom of our third drinks. We are already paying the check and he brings us all drink number 4.

At this point the waitress comes by. "I'm sorry," she says, "but my boss is bugging me to get y'all out here cause it's really busy and we need your table." We look at her like she has four heads. Is this acceptable behavior??? It's our friend's Birthday, we all still have full drinks, and we have only been sitting there for an hour...after waiting an hour for the table that was supposedly reserved for us. We tell her this. She doesn't care. Downstairs we go to the bar with our 4th drink and Meredith, thank you girl, bitches out the stupid guy in the green shirt. We finish drink number four and head out...just in time for a rain shower.

Now, I don't normally have four drinks in an hour on a Saturday night, let alone a Sunday afternoon. It's 3pm...some people are just getting out of church for Christ's sake (no pun intended). And I am drunk. DRUNK. That kind of drunk where you feel a little buzzed at first, but you drank everything so quickly that by the time you are on the subway home it all hits you and you are wasted by the time you get back to your house.

I got home and popped a disc of Wonderfalls (which you all should Netflix btw) into my DVD player and passed out in my bed. I made it through a couple of episodes and threw up. Now I know that was maybe an overshare, but I feel that it is actually quite important for me to share this with you all: NEVER THROW UP AFTER DRINKING BLOODY MARYS. It burns. It burns like a thousand devils. Especially if it comes out your nose.

Needless to say, when I went to Pat and Joe's for dinner I drank only water.