I’d like to take a moment to introduce you to the the most ridonkuolous reality show you won’t find on VH1, “Groomer Has It” on Animal Planet. It is, I kid you not, the search for America’s next top… animal groomer? Wha??

I tuned in for the judges evaluation this weekend and almost peed myself when two judges in all seriousness got in a giant fight over whether a groomer should put cotton balls in a dog’s ears before giving it a bath.

Set your DVRs and thank me later.