My laptop has decided that black is the new screen.

I can't, for the life of me, get my computer screen to come on...Tomorrow, it's off to the Mac store I go, but, for now, I thought I'd explain why I haven't posted anything new. The other reason would be that we got rid of our Verizon wireless (because it never worked anyway) and I haven't been able to pirate the wireless that I used to get for the past few days. Bitch bitch bitch. Moan moan moan. I'm just a regular Debbie Downer (wah WAHHHHHH).

I had a great weekend, but it, unfortunately, did NOT included a trip to Comic-con. Actually, that's a lie. I WENT to Comic-con, I just didn't get IN. Tiff and I were stupid and didn't pre-register, so when we showed up on Saturday it was sold out. Pretty annoying since it was at the Javitt's Center and I would have otherwise been content staying in Brooklyn all weekend, but ah well, such is life. No nerds in costumes for me. The only weirdo I saw was some dude in a Captain America outfit...

However, Tiffany and I still had a great day. We ended up going back to my hood, wandering a bit, getting coffee and doing some thrift shopping. THEN, we made the brilliant discovery that this bar on my street has a giant stack of board games. So, somewhere around 4:30pm we started drinking beer and playing Connect Four-- shortly followed by a very competitive bout of Scrabble As you can see, I trounced Tiffany.



It turns out that drinks are 2-for-1 from 5 to 8pm, so Huy, Jed and his girlfriend ended up joining us and we got kind of drunk...They also had Big Buck Hunter and I introduced the gang to Erotic Photo Hunt (my favorite game ever). Then we ate some Schnack and went home (by approximately 11pm...). Not too shabby. Pictures to come some day...actually, if you go to Tiffany's Flickr Page she has a few up- mostly of me being a weirdo.

Otherwise, that's about it...

Things I am Excited About Coming Up:

1) Season premiere of Beautiful People on ABC Family (next Monday)
2) America's Next Top Model comes back next Wednesday!
3) Soccer playoffs start Friday...
4) The final episodes of Project Runway

WOO HOO- Computer's working again-- here are pics from my drunk board game day with Tiffany...

I finally did it last night.

I sang at an open mic night. So much fun.

I went to the open mic at Lillie's in Red Hook a lot with Andy in the summer and she was always trying to get me to perform a song, but I never followed through. I made Andy learn a song for me, but I never made it up on stage. But YESTERDAY I did it! I went with Andy and his friend to Liberty Heights Tap Room (also in sunny Red Hook) with all intentions of just being an audience member. However, there were approximately 5 other people there, so I decided if there were ever to be a good time to sing in public (with the exception of karaoke) this was it. I sang "Funky" by Toni Price through a headcold with Andy and an old dude backing on guitars and Andy's friend Jaime on drums. I don't know if I sounded okay or not, but it didn't matter because there were only 3 people in the room not on stage. I even came back up later to do backup vocals on some other songs. Such a rush. It definitely confirmed for me how much I love being on stage no matter what the hell I'm doing up there. I guess I'm just an attention whore. I forgot to bring my camera, so there are no pictures of the event, but, of course there probably wouldn't have been any anyway because I would have had no one to take one for me...

In other news, FC Kitchen Sink braved the frigid arctic wind in Chelsea today to kick some serious soccer tail. I think the final score was 5 to ZERO (us being the victors)-- yeehaw! Playoffs start next week-- fingers crossed! I'm gonna need some luck, cause I sustained a hefty knee to the groin today and MY knee has apparently decided that running is the devil and yells at me for 24 hours following physical activity by way of a throbbing pain that makes me want to cry. Yay.

ALSO, I'm going to the New York Comic-con (big comic book conference) this weekend for work...I can't wait to see all the dudes dressed as Spiderman playing D&D and Magic the Gathering. I most certainly will NOT forget to bring my camera to that...I just hope I'm allowed to take pictures! Maybe I'll even find myself a Seth Cohen-ish comic geek boyfriend!

Okay, survey time:

Do I look like Russian figure skater Irina Slutskaya?



I think I do. Which kind of worries me cause I don't think she's all that attractive.

Check out this hilarious Glamour Shots slideshow of her on the NBC Olympics site. Apparently stonewashed denim is still hot in Russia. Rrrrow.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/athletes/5071600/detail.html

Well, I don't know 'bout you, but my President's Day weekend was filled with half naked girls dancing on elevated surfaces...

It started out Friday night at the party I threw for Katie's Birthday at Motor City. There was a go-go dancer shaking her thang in the window and I felt kind of bad for her...it was kind of awkward cause it seemed a bit out of place. So, Stephy, being a really nice gal, gave her a little tip.



Sunday night was another edition of Motherfucker at Avalon. Since I'm never one to pass up dancing the night away with trannies, I went along with Julia and Dave. I still haven't mastered taking photographs in the dark (I hate the way pictures look with flash...) but check out my flickr album if you'd like.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/32171483@N00/sets/72057594068369008/

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch some figure skating.

It's a rainy Friday, but I know what can cheer you up-- David Hasselhoff!!!

Here's your weekly dose of the Hoff-meister:



HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

This is the funniest thing EVER.

Apparently, I am not the first to come up with Hasselhoff Fridays...this guy has a whole website dedicated to it...
http://www.lovethehoff.com/

A new video....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ud9vvHJyoPk

And even MORE ridiculous Pepsi campaign pics....

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/02/14/even_more_david_hasslehoff.html

Two People I Love This Week (and always...):

1) Dolly Parton
2) Bob Costas

Stephanie accidentally left her iPod in my bag last night so I got to listen to it on the way in this morning. Of course, I went straight to the Dolly (my favorite). Everyone knows how much I love Jolene, but I must say, there's something to listening to 9 to 5 at full blast on your way in to your actual 9 to 5 job. Yee haw! Thanks for giving me a great start to my morning Dolly!

And Bob, well, Bob is just one of the best parts of the Olympics. I look forward to hearing Bob's closing thoughts every night before I turn in. Thanks for being a "walking sports almanac."

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...a TALKING VIBRATOR

Yes, folks, that's right, a TALKING VIBRATOR. WHA?!!!?!

Before I became deathly ill on Saturday, my sister and I were strolling through the East Village when we came across this poster:



After much discussion about what this actually meant (Does it come with pre-recorded messages? Do you record your own? What kind of things would you want your vibrator to say to you? How do you ask someone else to record something for your vibrator and what would you have THEM say?) I finally went to the website last night ( www.talkingheadvibrators.com ). According to the website..."you can record your own voice, your lover's or download voices from anonymous strangers." That's the one I find the most fascinating: downloading the voices of "anonymous strangers." This is the new wave of file sharing..."Cuming" Soon to iTunes: Download your favorite artist/porn star/d-list actor asking you "Who's your daddy?" It's you, David Hasselhoff, it's you.

That's right, folks, Hasselhoff Friday comes again tomorrow. Get excited!

YAY- Emily Doyle sent me the pictures from the absolutely stupendously fun Blizzard of 2003--one of the best days of my Columbia years. Yes, we were sledding down the Columbia steps on an inflatable couch...

Enjoy!

http://www.pbase.com/edoyle/snow_day_2003

Why are people always knocking Valentine's Day? I, for one, love this holiday...and I've never even had "Valentine." No, my love for Valentine's Day stems from the sheer pleasure I get from watching men stand in line outside flower shops in 30 degree weather, carrying around large balloons shaped like teddy bears, and otherwise maiming their manhood. It pretty much ranks up there with that Diet Dr. Pepper commercial. Every year I look forward to seeing just how ridiculous these gifts can get. And, folks, I've already spotted my first ridiculous Valentine's gift this year: Pussywillows. Yes, a young hipster dude was riding home on the subway last night carrying a large bouquet of pussywillows. Now, I fully understand the desire to be a little bit more original than the traditional roses, but, here are some words of wisdom: If it has the word "Pussy" in it, it probably doesn't qualify as romantic. Plus, it isn't a flower. It's a stick with fuzzy things on it.

NOOOOooooo!!!

What happened to Andy Milonakis' Blog??

I never even really liked his TV show, but his blog was the funniest thing out there. It regularly made me pee myself (metaphorically). Wha' HAppened?

Poisoned by food AGAIN! How can the love of my life hurt me so? It was either food poisoning or shopping for bridesmaid gowns literally made me ill...all those poofy seafoam dresses...but my guess is that it was the brunch. Julia's poor boyfriend walked in on me vomiting in the toilet...ah humility.

Sadly, that meant I didn't get to play outside in the snow today, but the snow brought back fond memories of the Blizzard of 2003-- I was a senior at Columbia and I think it was probably the best day I ever had at college. We got all bundled up and went sledding down the steps on an inflatable couch. So much fun. Here's what the snow looked like from inside my house...

I've decided to start a new weekly feature. I call it "Hasselhoff Friday"-- and here's your first weekly dose of the thick-haired wonderboy:

David is Hassel-hooked on a feeling....(thanks, Jenn)
HOT MUSIC VIDEO

And from The Superficial we have brown and bubbly Hasselhoff

Ride it, 'Hoff, ride it!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go add Knight Rider to my Netflix queue.

BRUISE WATCH 2006!

Yes, folks, get excited, it's Bruise Watch. The event where I bring you pictures of the nasty bruises I have painstakingly acquired in my weekly battles on the soccer turf...what can I say? I play aggressive and when I hurt other people, sometimes I hurt myself as well...

It was a rainy Saturday, so after finally getting rid of the clothes that have been sitting in bags on my bedroom floor since, I don't know, I moved in this apartment a year ago and hitting Sahadi's for nuts, olives, and hummus, I settled down on the coach for a lazy afternoon of TV watching. Too bad there is a serious lack of good TV on Saturday afternoons...After watching the tail-end of Drive Me Crazy, starring Melissa Joan Hart and Adrien Grenier...and apparently written by Rob Thomas, the creator of my absolute favorite, Veronica Mars?? Who knew? Anyway, after that I started channel surfing and after watching like 27 minutes of QVC-- for real, QVC should actually be titled "Comedy Central 2." Ain't no SNL or Mad TV sketch that can be as funny as just watching the real thing. The people on that network are on some serious uppers....-- I came across this lady on Brooklyn Public Access TV:



Seriously folks, do you see what's hanging from her earlobes?!!! A pear and an orange. Where do you buy earrings like that? Okay, so I wore giant yellow feathery earrings in high school almost ten years after things like that were considered socially acceptable, but NEVER, I repeat, NEVER did I rock lifesized fruit like a new-aged Chiquita Banana.

AND in other random photo news...

Here's Meredith's impression of Mary Kate Olson's leg in a boot:

Yeah, I'm on the mailing list for the IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eaters). Jealous?

I got this email today:


To all gurgitation enthusiasts:
Some of the greatest moments in eating history are now available for viewing on Google Video. Check out the stars as they eat their way to fame!
Shortcut to: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2241496658895814638

Keep your eyes on the website for lots of exciting events coming up in March and April and Stay Hungry!


If the footage of my 30 inch hotdog defeat just whet your appetitite, check it out!