Part TWO...Scroll down for Part One...

Meredith and I got all gussied up to play putt putt. Those pirates were pretty hot with their pistols and chest hair-- I think they were ready to P-arrrgh-ty!







The next day was spent entirely at the pool...we meant to take the 2:30 train back, then changed to 3:30, then 4:30, and didn't actually make it on a train till 5:30 because we started taking the following photographs...now, I'm not one to post pictures of myself in a bikini on the internet- gotta start working out a LOT more before that happens- but, as it turns out, pictures of people jumping into pools are hilarious, and I just can't help myself, so here goes:

First up- Chip. A master of the tuck...until he did a face plant...







And Meredith- queen of brilliant facial expressions:







And Pat- the Michael Jordan of pool jumping:









AND me...princess of weird grunting noises when catching the football and then fits of giggles after coming up for air:





I am SO graceful. Like a swan. A swan whose wings have been clipped.



This is the look of complete joy:

My holiday weekend was spent in lovely Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Home to lots of cougars, turbos, tattooed ladies in bikinis with beer guts. NOT home to the daughter of Satan as this TV show would have you believe.

Meredith’s Grandma Bern was a great host, as were her aunts and uncles. They actually bought beer and food for us and made constant drop-offs at the house. Not too shabby. So maybe Grandma Bern couldn’t keep Andy and Pat straight…She loved having boys around.

It all started with some fun on the beach- We sunbathed, played a little football...but it's all fun and games until someone gets sand down their pants. Meet our new friend Sandy Cooter:



After a long day at the beach, we walked down to Clark's Landing for some prime cougar/mougar huntin'. We were pleasantly surprised to find Dee Jay Vu there for our listening pleasure. This band covered everything from Enrique Iglesias to Paul Simon. This lady went from "All That Jazz" to Janis Joplin:



Here we are with our beautiful harbor view:





The next day we lost a few members of our team back to the city, but we discovered Meredith's aunt's saltwater pool. A saltwater pool, you ask? Yep. It's pretty awesome. As Meredith put it, "It's like bathing in your tears." Not too salty and when you get out you feel all clean instead of chemical-coated.



We lost ANOTHER member of the team back to NYC, survived a little rain by playing POP 5, a new game by the Cranium people. It was boys vs. girls and Meredith and I were victorious! FYI: Andy can't draw...



Then we made it out to play a round of putt putt. God, I forgot how much I love putt putt. The course was a little wet, but it helped give us that real "pirate ship" feel...Reminded me of my fifth grade trip when I was in a fight with Rachel Margolis and we had to go play putt putt at Pirate's Cove but were bickering the whole time...I came in a close second to Andy, who I'm pretty sure is hiding a secret putt putt champion past in Indiana...

Update: The Ice Cream Man has a website!

Check it out to learn more about this dude and see more pictures of hipsters with ice cream...if you have a weird fetish for that sort of thing...

I had a fantastic holiday weekend in Dirty Jers-- pics to be posted soon. Be prepared. Pictures of people jumping into pools are hilarious.

First off, a big shout out to Kate, who is leaving us for the West Coast... Ugh. Is it inevitable that I'll have to move to L.A. too? I love NYC :(



After Kate's goodbye shindig I went out to Williamsburg-- no, this was probably more like Bushwick-- for a rock show... I had no idea where I was, but there was an ice cream man! He apparently travels around all summer to concerts and gives away free ice cream and he' s my new favorite person...



Sherbet Sponge Bob tastes GOOD...until you drop half his face and one gum ball eye on the dirty sidewalk...

Actual dialogue overheard in a rest stop bathroom on the way to Dia: Beacon with my mom and sister on Sunday:

MOM: Are your pants touching the floor?

DAUGHTER: No.

MOM: Yes they are, they’re touching the ground.

DAUGHTER: They’re long.

MOM: Pull them up. There’s pee all over the floor.

DAUGHTER: That’s pee?

MOM: Yes. Can’t you smell that? That’s not coming in my car. Did you pee?

DAUGHTER: No.

MOM: Don’t you have to go to the bathroom?

DAUGHTER: No.

MOM: Well I’m not stopping till we get to Massachusetts, so squeeze it out!


SQUEEZE it out! Brilliant. So graphic but so right on.

Side note: Going to the Dia: Beacon is a lovely little day trip.

I got a new do.

I'm still playing with it, BUT...

Here's when I make it all messy:





AND This is the more sleek look:





Do we like it?

Someone’s Spidey Sense is telling her that her favorite superhero is madly in love with her…

Or maybe not. BUT, I do feel a great kinship with the Spiderman movie franchise because it seems to have followed me around for the past 5 years…My last two years at Columbia they were always filming on campus and today on my walk to work I noticed those bright pink NO PARKING signs indicating that Spiderman 3 is to film in my very own neighborhood on Thursday.

Okay, so maybe they film a LOT of stuff at Columbia and in Cobble Hill, but I still feel like I have an infinite bond with Peter Parker.

It also reminds me what happened when they were filming the first movie at Columbia…

It was one of the sunniest weeks of the year and everyone was outside on the steps catching some rays in tank tops and skirts…but they were trying to shoot a fall scene. So they tried to get us all to move off the steps, which, of course, pissed everyone off because we only get so many days of sunshine…we reluctantly moved to the 100 square feet of lawn off-camera and watched them shoot (If you watch the first movie though, you can definitely see random people in the campus crowds wearing summer gear mixed in with the extras in fall garb…these were just random students that snuck past the PA’s). The scene they were shooting was just Peter Parker running across the length of the steps. They shot it over and over and over again. After a while, we realized it wasn’t even Tobey Maguire, it was just a body double—and, boy, was this guy winded! I felt awful for him. It was like 90 degrees out and they had him dressed for 55 degree weather. Anyway, we finally decided that he was still cute and we made Emily go hit on him. He said he had a girlfriend. Emily’s dreams were shattered. There would be no Tobey Maguire body double in her future.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll catch them filming something in my hood tomorrow and get some pics. We shall see…

I need to stop drinking so much coffee. I'm seriously hopped up on caffeine right now.

First, I had iced coffee on the way to work this morning. Then, after lunch, I got another large iced coffee. THEN, on my way to writing class I got ANOTHER LARGE iced coffee, but this time from Dunkin' Donuts- and Dunkin' Donuts don't fuck around. This bad boy was friggin' huge. I got the shakes halfway through class. Thank goodness Michael Showalter is nice and brings snacks for our break, cause I was getting seriously nauseated with all that caffeine on an empty stomach. I didn't even really need that last iced coffee, but it's just habit to get coffee before class cause I can't sit still (maybe from all that caffeine...hmmm) and I need something to do with my ADD self. Having a beverage in my hands gives me a nervous habit. Of course, now I get home and all that caffeine has me wired, so I should be going to bed right now but I can't cause I'm wide awake. WHICH will only make me more tired tomorrow-- causing me to buy MORE COFFEE.

It's a vicious, vicious cycle.

Alas, it's Father's Day and I have yet to actually call my dad. Tiffany and I were buying a card for her dad the other day and we realized the cards that say what we'd truly like to tell our dads just don't exist.

Here are my suggestions for Father's Day cards:

1) I'm a crappy daughter. You're a crappy dad. We make a great team. Happy Father's Day!
2) Dad, you have great moments. Happy Father's Day!
3) Thanks for embarrassing me in Fifth Grade in front of all of my friends. Who needs friends anyway? Happy Father's Day.
4) You've been an okay dad this year. Happy Father's Day.
5) My friends really like listening to your long-winded guilt trip voicemail messages. Thanks for providing us with some solid entertainment. Happy Dad's Day!
6) Sorry I didn't get you anything this year, but I figured your new kids had it covered. Happy Father's Day.

You get the picture. I had better call my dad right now before I rot in hell.

Okay, here I go again: I love my apartment.

As I type, there are fireworks going off from the Queen Mary right behind Governor's Island.

We get fireworks at least once a week here during the summer. Usually they are further away in Jersey, but I guess now with the cruise ship docking in Red Hook we'll be getting a show right on our doorstep.

Try to hide your jealousy.

Oh, and yet another ABC Family show to watch: Falcoln Beach. It's deliciously cheesy. Gotta love the Canadian exports.

I got punched by a bum on Wednesday.

41st Street between 9th and 10th Avenues, right behind Port Authority, has got to be the sketchiest block in Manhattan, SO, it was fitting that I had sketch practice there on Wednesday night. I was walking to practice and saw a group of vagrants play fighting with each other on the street in front of me. As I got closer, I tried to figure out whether to walk around them or try and make a break through the middle of the pack. Unfortunately, I made the wrong choice. I tried to pass through just as one guy took a giant swing in the air...hitting me SMACK in the arm. HARD. I squealed as the guy (who smelled of cheap malt liquor) grabbed my arm saying in a drunken slur, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, are you okay?"-- which I guess was nice, but I was so freaked out I just frantically shook him off my arm and booked it down the block.

Anyway, then I felt bad for assuming he was a bum. UNTIL, we had rehearsal at the same space two days later. Jonathan brought a dozen Dunkin Donuts (I was on a major sugar high since I also found a 7eleven on the way and got a giant Slurpee) and there were some leftover after practice SO we decided to give them to the homeless people living on the block. As he was giving them the donuts, everyone was really thankful, except this one guy making sarcastic comments from a lawn chair on the sidewalk-- the guy who had punched me in the arm! What a dick.

I'm sorry, I'm a horrible person, but that punch fricking hurt!

Saturday night I attended a sausage fest. Yeah, you heard right. Pat brought back his great grandmother's sausage grinder from home and spent a homoerotic Saturday "making sausage" with Chip and his brother. The rest of us came over Saturday night to partake in the encased meat goodness. Pics courtesy of Meredith. This first one is ridiculous.

Is it just me, or has this been the weirdest week ever?

Maybe it's the fact that Monday was a holiday or maybe it has to do with the phases of the moon, but all I know is crazy shit done been goin' down this week...

Last night, Tiff and I left work at 4:30, shared a pitcher of sangria, ate olives and chorizo and then met up with some folks for some pho. AND THEN we ended up going to this party Rockstar games was hosting to promote their new game "Table Tennis." I know, seems pretty tame for Rockstar games. You would think that the people that brought you "Vice City" would at least make "Full Contact Table Tennis"-- the game where after you play table tennis you hire a hooker, shove ping pong balls up her ass and paddle her (I'm sorry folks, I had to go there) BUT NO-- it's just table tennis. Back to the basics. "Pong" 2006. Believe it or not, this game is actually a lot of fun-- or maybe that's just cause I'm actually good at it. I think women actually have the advantage on this game because it's so simple. Dudes are used to playing games with complicated moves and special codes and shit, and this just involves hitting a couple buttons. Simple as that. Anyway, I actually ended up entering the tournament- check off "play in video game tournament" on the things to do this lifetime list! It was tons of fun, but I only made it through the quarter finals...I was robbed.

Thursday. Thursday was just a stormy day.

But, WEDNESDAY, Chip and Meredith decided to host a karaoke party...and I do love me some karaoke. We pretty much had the place to ourselves, save a really skeevy dude named Leon who really seemed to like Jenn and sang a song by Prince that definitely had the word "masturbate" in it...in general, I made some horrible song choices, but I DID bring the house down with a rousing rendition of Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to me Now." Gotta love Celine. She's pretty money for karaoke. Otherwise, I'd say the star of the parade was definitely Meredith...as you can see by the following (MILLION) pictures...tons of fun!