Listen up:

Making jokes about how girls dress like sluts on Halloween is played out.

We all saw Mean Girls.

We get it.

If you think that you are the first person to “hilariously” point this fact out…well, you’re an idiot.

Shut your pie hole.

Now then, I would like to point out something everyone seems to be ignoring. Woman may dress like sluts on Halloween, but men dress like absolute morons. There ain’t nothing sexy about men’s Halloween costumes.

Case in point, the Top 10 Bestselling costumes from www.halloweenmart.com. The top women’s costumes range from “Lacy Pirate” to “Vixen Pirate Wench”—but the men’s costumes contain the following gems:

Weighing in at number 5...it’s the “Chick Magnet”



Wow. I don’t know about you, but I’m laughing my ass off. No, not because this costume is so clever, because you are an idiot if you purchased this. If you are wearing this costume, you are most certainly NOT a chick magnet. In fact, you probably haven’t gotten laid since you went to that luau this summer (ba-dump-ching!). note The “Chick Magnet” is sold out for the 2006 season…

Just a few spots down at number 8…it’s the “Heart On”



If you think this costume’s a winner, maybe you should just go ahead and dress like a giant dick, it’s what everyone thinks you are anyway.



And you aren't seeing one of these any time soon...